If things are not right at home, it impacts your life at work. As a leader, you want to make sure you can lead effectively at home so you can focus on work when at work. Today’s guest is Yummii Nguyen, who is a coach to parents. We talk about understanding your kids and conscious parenting. Yummii also connects the dots with how business performance and parenting go together. Discover new strategies that will improve your relationship with your kids. Also, learn how to improve your business performance with the same strategy.
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Yummii Nguyen: The Transcript
About: Yummii Nguyen – the founder and creator of The Motherhood Mindset. As a Mindset Coach that specialized in Relationships, Love, and Healing – she couldn’t wait to become a mother. It was all too common to hear the sentiment “You can’t prepare for Motherhood”. She chose to discover what she could do to prepare for motherhood. There was too much at stake – and she was committed that Motherhood be her own expression, an expression she crafted with intention, with love, and with purity. Coming from a broken family – She used this as wisdom. She knew my parents did the best they could with what they had – and they were two very lonely human beings who didn’t feel whole. They had barriers to accept and receive Love. They were hijacked and dominated by Fear. She also spiritually believes that she chose them as her parents for the lessons that she wanted to learn in this lifetime. Motherhood was her fuel to return to wholeness – so she don’t pass on the wounds. She created The Motherhood Mindset as she knows it is possible to prepare for Motherhood. It is in our power should we choose it – to have Motherhood be empowering, healing, and transformative. Combining over 10 years experience of coaching thousands of people on Relationships, Love, and Healing, with Science/ Psychology/ Spirituality – The Motherhood Mindset is all about using the journey of Motherhood to return to our wholeness. Practical, deep, provoking, and transformational. I’m excited to be a part of your journey.
Disclaimer: This transcript was created using YouTube’s translator tool and that may mean that some of the words, grammar, and typos come from a misinterpretation of the video.
Yummii Nguyen: [00:00:00] Feel like we have been unconsciously taught that parenting is this one-way relationship where it’s like the parents doing so much for the children and we’re giving them so much. And you know, to really connect means that both people energized by this relationship, that both people in that connection, they bloom that they’re more they’re left. Inspired they’re left more energized. They’re left more like really loving life, you know, or being empowered in life or resilient in life. I mean, when we ask parents, like, what do you want for the, your children? A lot of parents are like, I just want them to be happy. I want them to be successful. I want them to, you know, have great relationships and pursue what it is that their heart desires. How do we get there? Like how do we, as a parent support our kids? Happiness and joy and resilience in life. And I believe that connection is key.
Intro: Welcome to grow think tank. This is the one and only place where you will get insight from the founders and the CEOs, the fastest-growing privately held companies. I am the host. [00:01:00] My name is Gene Hammett. I hope leaders and their teams navigate the defining moment. Of their growth. Are you ready to grow?
Gene Hammett: Your business performance depends on how well things are at home. No, you may take a little offense to this, but I really do believe that things are connected. We have to be able to perform great at work. And if we are pulled in different energetic ways or stressed or overloaded from our home life, it’s going to impact how we lead the decisions. We make, the things that we see as possible. And hopefully, you’ve got the kinda relationship at home that you know, is worth improving and, and really putting in the time it takes for you to be a better dad or a better mom and connecting with your children today. We have a very special episode, very different than normal, but we have, a friend of mine on who works with parents to help them better connect with their children. And her name is Yummii Nguyen and Yummii. And I, you know, talk about the things that are getting in the way of our children and the relationship and, and really we try to fix.
Our children, but the reality is they don’t need to be fixed. [00:02:00] The problem is connection. We unpack that inside this conversation with Yummii and you’ll find that what just listening to this will be, a giant, let me back up a second. Just listening to this will be a giant step and you understanding how you can be a better parent. This one episode will change your home life. If you really understand it, now, I’m gonna give you additional resource in there. , a little bit later, if you wanna get a special training that she’s put together, and this really is just a better serve you and your, my audience to take it to the next step. Do you want something special in this case it’s really designed to help you understand your child better and connect at a deeper level so that you can perform, your business? Well, all you have to do is listen in, in a little bit of this episode, say if it’s a good fit for you, and then you can follow that link. And, go from there. So here’s the interview with Yummii.
Gene Hammett: Hi, Yummii.
Yummii Nguyen: Hey Gene,
Gene Hammett: How are you?
Yummii Nguyen: Really good. I’m so excited to have this conversation with you today.
Gene Hammett: Well, I’m excited too, it’s gonna be a little bit different than normal, so I’m gonna let you frame in, your work, what you’re up to and, really what you stand for.
Yummii Nguyen: Yeah. You know, [00:03:00] thanks, Gene. So my name is Yummii Nguyen and I work with parents I work with a lot of extremely successful parents where they do. So well in their business and in their companies that they created and they struggle at home, right. They struggle at home with their connection with their kids. And what I really stand for is to be able to be, you know, someone in the world where you are living your purpose, you’re living your passion, but you’re having that in alignment with what’s going on at home as well. And I think a big thing that parents struggle with, especially the ones that have their own businesses and doing out like great things out there in the world is this inner conflict of how to show up being the parent that I wanna be at home without compromising my work or feeling like they’re choosing work over their family life. So I wanna be able to support a lot of parents in this journey, you know, to really love. Parenting and not feel like they’re compromising on what they’re here to do.
Gene Hammett: I know in some of your work you have mentioned about how important it is [00:04:00] to the business performance, to have things right at home. And I don’t think anybody would disagree because even though, you know, they would tell you to leave your emotions at the door or all of those things, the reality is they follow us with us. So something’s out of alignment. If things aren’t going well, their kids or wife, or spouses in anyways. We, we really do bring that into the business world, whether we like it or not.
Yummii Nguyen: Absolutely. I mean, we’re human beings, right Gene?. And so like, let’s say you are feeling really inspired and connected at home, right? And you have great relationships with your children and you partner that energy. If you bring that into work, you’re making choices and you’re leading from a different place. You’re leading from an empowered place. You’re leading from a generous place. You’re leading, leading from an inspired place. And equally, I feel, you know, if we are challenged at home if the disconnection is really strong and there’s conflict, and we have created a business and we up. Pursuing our dream and putting it out there. It comes to a point where we’re like, what’s this for all, I don’t have anyone to share it with. [00:05:00] And even when like, things are going really well at work and you wanna celebrate it and you come home and there’s disconnection, you know, it just, it has that bittersweet experience.
Or if things are going really like, you know, challenging at work and then you’re coming home and you’re knowing why you’re doing the work. It’s for the family, but you feel like your kids are ungrateful, you know, it really takes your, like, it, it kills at you, right? Like you’re like, why am I doing all of this? Why am I suffering through all of this for feeling like unappreciated?
Gene Hammett: Know, sometimes I’ll get into my coaching and I’ll ask a client, they’ll talk about overwhelm work. Yeah. And then. I say I’m kind of curious about what happens at home when you bring that same energy to your relationship with your spouse or your kids. It’s never good, right? It’s always to the, they, someone will say something I think is a pretty good thing. Well, work gets the best of me and my family gets the worst of me.
Yeah. You’ve heard this before, right? Yeah. What do you in your work like you’re working with a lot of parents to help them better connect with their kids. Like we really, we know what that means. , but, but what is it like, unpack that better connecting with your [00:06:00] kids for us.
Yummii Nguyen: Yeah. You know, it’s so interesting. I feel like we have been unconsciously taught that parenting is this one-way relationship where it’s like the parents doing so much for the children and we’re giving them so much. And, you know, to really connect means that both people energized by this relationship, that both people in that connection, they bloom that they’re more, they’re left more inspired, they’re left more energized, they’re left more like really loving life, you know, or being empowered in life or resilient in life. I mean, when we ask parents, like, what do you want for the, your children? A lot of parents are like, I just want them to be happy. I want them to be successful. I want them to, you know, have great relationships and. Pursue what it is that their heart desires, how do we get there? Like how do we, as a parent support our kids, happiness and joy, and resilience in life? And I believe that connection is key.
Gene Hammett: I listen to some of your training, ’cause I’m very fascinated with your work. And I think you do a great job with talking about some of the things that we’re experiencing as parents. , but I also feel [00:07:00] like we make excuses for our kids and I’ll admit here, I have a teenager and we will say things like, well, they’re just being a teenager. They’re being moody. Or they’re not communicating well, cause it’s just not natural to them. At this point in life. They haven’t developed those skills in that sense of awareness and we make those excuses, but here’s the reality it’s, you know, after listening to your training, you help me reframe this a little bit. It’s really about, are we truly helping them feel heard, seen, and understood. And tell us a little bit more about out why that’s such an important piece inside of parenting.
Yummii Nguyen: Oh, this is so great. Gene, you know, as a leader, right in like, you know, in your business, We coach so much. And you might do this with your clients on like hearing the hearing what they’re not saying. Right. When we’re talking about performance, we’re always asking, you know, we’re, we’re listening to the people that work with us about what is it that they’re not saying? There are things that they’re saying, but what is in that background? What is in the unsaid? Because everyone’s always communicating. like our children are always communicating with us. But we just misunderstand [00:08:00] it. Yeah. So, you know, whether it’s your teenagers or the people you work with, everyone is just, this has this longing to be seen, heard and understood. And if we can’t go beyond our own reaction to what our teenagers are doing, we can’t go beyond our triggers. We, we miss out on what they’re communicating.
You know, when are teenagers giving you one-word answers? It’s communicating, I’m really hijacked right now, or I’m swamped internally, or like I’m so overwhelmed or there might be something going on. And I have no idea then how to process that they’re communicating to you. They’re an internal state, but if we only see it for what it is on the surface level, we can’t meet them where they’re at to help lead them and help guide them to build that resilience, to move through these spaces.
Gene Hammett: Here’s where I’m curious on something. . What are the enemies of connecting with our kid? Like what’s getting in the way specifically so that we understand this and we can, we can recognize them when we feel those things inside our relationship.
Yummii Nguyen: Oh, there are two things that I love this question, Gene. The first thing is expectations.[00:09:00] There is an unconscious thing that we have expectations on our kids and where they should be and how they should behave and what connection looks like and the conditions we have expectations and the conditions that are needed for that connection. So expectations are especially on our kids and especially on ourselves are things that will kill the connection. And the second thing is to taking things personally, you know, I think as parents, it’s so easy, especially in the teenage years where our teenagers coming home and they’re giving us one-word answers. Or they’re not sharing their appreciation cause they’re just so hijacked by their own stuff that we feel.
We take it personally. Like they are not appreciating me. They’re rude to me. They like doing this on purpose. And so we take it really personally, not recognizing that in the teenage years, the brain’s changing. Like, they’re basically a newborn again. right. Like if, you know, we have so much sincerity for newborn babies and literally your teenager, like their brain at 12 years old is changing and it’s like a new brain [00:10:00] is forming. Like they’re like a brand new person. And so taking things personally is a real killer for connection.
Gene Hammett: I appreciate it. You unpacking those for us. Inside the training that I was mentioned that I was able, to watch yours because I wanna be a better dad. I wanna, I wanna provide that level of connection and I wanna understand my son better and I wanna help my wife as well. And you mentioned inner child and, really how that gets in the way of our parenting. I don’t know if a lot of people are or aware of this concept of the inner child. Can you, you know, explain that to us and then explain why it gets in the way of our parenting.
Yummii Nguyen: Yeah, incredible. So if we, you know, I’m just trying to think of an example, like, so the inner child, right. Is how you were basically brought up and there are parts of you. if you were high, like triggered by your child by certain emotions that they have, like, whether it’s their Grumpiness, whether it, their anger, there probably is some part of you as a child that had to suppress that or were judged for having that same emotion.[00:11:00] And so it’s like, you’re not gonna be able to learn how to swim unless you get into the water and understand how it feels like. Right? And so that’s the same thing with the inner child. Like, whatever we get triggered by with our children probably has an indicator or reflecting back something that we haven’t processed when we were younger.
So we don’t how to navigate it. We don’t know how to navigate anger when our child is angry, we don’t know how to navigate, you know, the sadness when our child is sad. And so which constant we trying to fix our children when they have these difficult emotions. But when our children having difficult times, and especially in teenage years where they’re going through anxiety and frustration and sadness and disappointment, and having to like experience failure at a different level, they don’t want us to fix them. They want us to be there. And so the inner child really is our journey to be able to look at those parts of ourselves. That block us from being able to be really intimate and connect with our children without needing to judge them, fix them, or think that they should be better.
Commentary: Now, hold on for a second. You and I have been talking about this [00:12:00] training. If you wanna get access to special training that I have taken myself and find really valuable. I want you to go to Genehammett.com/Children. It’s a really easy email or link for you to, use, just go to Genehammett.com/Children inside there. It’s absolutely free. No login required a short video to help you understand how to better connect with your kids. And don’t you want a better connection? Just go to Genehammett.com/Children. Now back to the interview with Yummii,
Gene Hammett: when we talk about the inner child, I’d love for you to share, I don’t know, a story or example inside your, your work that you do, of where this was. Getting in the way and, and what happened after they were able to address that in a very healthy way?
Yummii Nguyen: Oh, this is so incredible, Gene. , I’ve got this client, she’s a CEO of a tech company and, you know, she grew up with really like strict parents. It was like always, you know, like the, having her to, you know, do the right thing, be the perfect daughter. And so she grew up quite disciplined [00:13:00] and, striving a lot of striving and there was no room for her to make mistakes. And if you were to make a mistake, there was like judgment, right? So she grew up in like this perfectionist kind of behavior household. And this client had a teenage son who goes through a really, you know, one of the top private schools here in Sydney, Australia, and he’s struggling with drugs at the moment and vaping, and they’ve been dealing with this for a couple of years now. And each time it’s always been her punishing him or consequence, like, you know, putting consequences in and then he’ll lie to her. He’ll do it behind her back and so forth. Now she’s come to me where she’s like, I’m, I’m giving up. Like I have no idea what to do. Like I just I’m over it. I’m really struggling. I’m over. I have no idea what to do. How do I turn this around? So then I, I coached her through this and what was really happening was like she was placing her inner child angst on failure, on what other people think on her experience of not being good enough, like her own stuff of not being good enough all onto this [00:14:00] circumstance with her son.
And in doing this. He can’t connect with her and really share with her what’s going on. So anyway, here’s the coaching I gave. Are you ready, Gene? Yep. So she had tickets for him to go to this incredible tennis match. So we’ve got like, I think a few weeks ago we had the Australian open on and she was gonna take all his friends to see them, like another tennis. And she’s like, you know what? I feel like I’m gonna take that away from him. I, I don’t think he deserves it. You know, I really wanna punish him. And I said, okay, so here’s the coaching? Here’s the coaching I gave her. I said you’re still gonna take him to the tennis. And you’re gonna love him up. You’re gonna write him a letter of all the things that you’re proud of with him because we understood that his love language was words. And you’re also gonna share with him how you can see that he might be struggling at the moment, and it must be really hard, but you’re not gonna punish him. You’re not gonna talk about it. You’re not gonna put any, consequences and you’re gonna still fulfill on taking him to tennis with his friends. And she was like, hell no.
Like this is like, you know, he’s lied to me. He’s doing all this stuff behind my back. We spend so much money on private school education. Like this went against everything [00:15:00] that she was taught. Like she was taught to be punished. She was taught that you gotta be better. She was taught that, you know that you gotta honor your word and all of I’m not, and I’m not saying stuff isn’t important. It is. But you gotta find the right timing to be able to work through this with your teenager. And it’s like work like you’re not gonna be able to help someone perform better if they are in fear. If they don’t feel safe with you, no matter what coaching you give them as their CEO, they can’t hear you. So it requires such a safe space. So then when she could meet her own stuff, her own anxiety or failure and her own stuff of not being perfect of getting in trouble when she was younger. And just meet that with compassion, she was able just to like, let go, and then here’s what miraculous happened. One week later from all of this. She’s gardening.
Her son comes out and joins her and her son says, Hey mom, I wanna tell you what’s going on. And he shares everything, not from her probing, not from consequences or punishment, but he shares everything that’s been going on. And she’s like, wow, like this is the first time [00:16:00] he’s actually done this. And she said, there was this moment where, you know, there were gardening and then he had to go back in and she thought, okay, well, that’s it. Like, he probably doesn’t wanna share anymore. He comes back out and he goes, so while I’m being honest, there’s more that I wanna tell you. And he continues on and he’s. She’s like, I’ve never heard him communicate so much.
Gene Hammett: I love this story and, it really helps us understand how this actually connects to the business world, because yeah. Imagine the energy that she has come back into the office when she’s no longer burdened by the stress and doubt and whatever else we carry with us. From our home life is, is really taken care of like, this is, this is what I, this is one reason why I wanted to have you on the show because very different content than we normally have. But Yummii, I really respect you and your work. And I respect that all of my audience wants to be a better parents. I know it’s not just me. And you’re striving at it. Maybe you don’t even have the tools to where do you go next? You know? Is it a book you read, or is it something you do, but I’d mentioned this training thing. I, I just wanna go ahead and say. What, really got you to put together this training [00:17:00] to help parents understand their children?
Yummii Nguyen: You know, I put together this training because parenting is this thing that we assume that we should know how to do, but it’s a learned skill. Just like leadership is a learned skill. Just like listening is a learned skill. And when it comes to something like parenting and relationships, where we have this unconscious expectation of, we should know better, but really it’s a learned skill. It takes the enjoyment out of why we became parents in the first place. Right. And I put together this training because I really wanted to break down the key elements of what it is.
Our children are really seeking from us and really to tell parents that what our children really want is to see us thriving. They want us to win at life. They want us to do well so that we us. So much in our joy that we can meet them with that compassion when they’re struggling. Right. We’re so much in our joy. We’re so much in our being. We’re so proud of who we are, that we can meet them when they are going through really difficult times so that we can have, and hold space for what they’re going through. But when we are stressed, we’re constantly [00:18:00] wanting to fix them. And we think they’re the problem. I get that there is a problem, but they’re not the problem.
The problem is connection and we can’t connect and guide and lead. If we’re overwhelmed and judging ourselves and thinking they’re, they’re, they’re the problem. I mean, it’s similar to what you coach Gene, you know, you can blame your team, you can blame your team what you want, but at the end of the day, it’s, you know, you are the leader.
Gene Hammett: Yeah, I think that parents need to take a really hard look at this. , we put together a little bit of a special link for you. I’m gonna go ahead and give that link to you now, and then let you frame in, what they can expect when they get there. So if you’re interested in getting the training we’ve been talking about, and I’m doing this only to serve you if you want to have a better connection.
Just go to Genehammett.com/Children and so just a really simple, URL for you to go get this. It’s absolutely free. There are no logins that you have to go through. It just will give you a lot more of an understanding of how you can move as a, a parent and, and through a more powerful connection. What would they, what would they get when they,[00:19:00] what would they see when they get there? Yummii,
Yummii Nguyen: Well, they’re gonna see an incredible training video that is not gonna, is gonna be a really short video where they get the three things that they need to understand. Stand to help create a better connection with their children. Right. And they’re gonna fundamentally see, okay. Wow. That’s what I’m doing. Okay. That’s what I can shift. It’s actionable. It’s you know, they can take the tips and implement it straight away.
Gene Hammett: Fantastic. I’ll give you that URL one more time. , Genehammett.com/Children because our children are really the focus herein, in, and it’s about you understanding what’s getting in the way. And, and I just, when I went through it earlier this week, I was just, I felt such an, a better awareness. Of some of the things I’m doing well, but also a few things I could do better at. And so I, I would encourage you guys to check out this training and Yummii, I really appreciate you being here and sharing with us today.
Yummii Nguyen: Really appreciate, you having me on the show, Gene, thank you so much. And thank you for the work that you do.
Gene Hammett: Well, that was an incredible interview. I really love being able to share some different kinds of content with you. My heart really pulls for, for anyone who’s struggling at home on with kids that, that don’t understand them, or you don’t understand [00:20:00] your kids. Because I really would love for you to, to take this seriously and improve this part of your life. This is all you get from me. I’d be honored to hear the impact that it’s made, listening to the training, go ahead and do that, but, but really just accept that you have to be able to evolve as a parent and as a person.
And that will only help you improve not only at home, but also at, so I really believe this. To be connected together in such a way. And, I share this content with you just to make sure that you are playing at your highest level. When you think about growth and you think about leadership, think of Growth Think Tank. As always live with courage. We’ll see you next time.
Disclaimer: This transcript was created using YouTube’s translator tool and that may mean that some of the words, grammar, and typos come from a misinterpretation of the video.
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